Thursday, July 19, 2012

I'm not a lesbian but I have been mistaken for one a few times in the Home Depot. I'm not sure why. Generally I dress like a woman and I don't have a man haircut, so I'm not sporting the macho look.

Okay this picture is a lie. I only did my hair cuz Dawn was gonna take a snazzy picture of all of us. And I don't smile unless I'm in conversation -- my resting expression is usually this:
Because I'm thinking so hard that I look angry all the time. This is a problem I can't fix. Last Sunday at church one of the deacons asked me to "Smile please". I never realize I'm giving off miserable vibes, it made me feel disappointed in myself as usual. ha

Not that this has anything to do with being butch -- I got off track here somewhere. Oh right! Home Depot!

Yesterday at work my friend Dawn (the other one, not the one I'm building cabinets for right now) said she needed to go to HD for moth traps. I said I needed some clamps, so we drove together at lunch time.

I'm standing in the tool aisle, holding a trim claw and other junk, when she rolls up beside me with her moth traps and a little "gnome garden flag". To picture this accurately, she looks like a blonde princess wearing hot pink and holding this:
And I look like this:


and I ask her to hold my trim claw. She says sure, takes it from me, and the tool guy asks us if we need any help.

I turn to him and say "yeah I'm looking for corner clamps. I'm building cabinets so this won't work" -- pointing to a trim clamp for a different application.

He looks us over. Shows me the corner clamps...I say thanks and start marching off with all my stuff, with Dawn beside me holding her gnome flag and my trim claw dangling between her two fingers like it's a toilet plunger. (That's another thing -- I never "mosey". I speedwalk, like I'm on the verge of breaking into a sprint. I walk like my boss.)

At this point it occurs to me that the way he was smiling at us was a little funny. I look at Dawn. I look down at myself. And the whole picture sort of explodes on me like that can of Coke I left in my car a couple months ago.

"I'm the BUTCH ONE!!"

Dawn burst out laughing because she knew.

No no, you're not butch, don't worry about it!

Right.
Posted by Katy On 7:49 PM 11 comments

11 comments :

  1. OK why am I laughing at this post so hard!!!! lol lol Im goin now to get Shan she has to read this one. And guess what she doesn't know what a clamp thingy is and well she "is " the butch one ! lol Too funny! I had to comment.

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  2. Katy you're no-nonsense and I love that about us buildy women. Get in, get exactly what you need and get out AND do it all in record time. We're on a mission and we don't have time to dress cutesy! Great post and you're not butch, just buildy.

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  3. Katy, this post is hilarious! Isn't it good every once in a while to forget all the stresses in life and just laugh, even if it's at yourself?

    But speaking as a red-blooded American heterosexual male, in fact speaking for red-blooded American heterosexual males everywhere - whether swinging a hammer or all dolled up ready for a night on the town, you are quite attractive. :-) Now, let's see that driver's license photo. lol

    Brian

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  4. I agree with Brian...even though I'm married.

    From the opposite side I'm often mistaken for a different preference. I'm a stay at-home dad who does whatever...whether it be welding, knitting, shooting or carpentry (why I'm reading your blog). I've had to tell people a sewing machine is just another power tool (got that from someone else).

    I guess what I want to say is being your own person (and a creator at that) puts you on the fringe of society. You don't fit into any stereotype therefore you're lumped into "other". You are so amazing people can't quite grasp what they are seeing.

    -Pete

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  5. Yeah, sometimes I feel like I need to do my hair and wear heels to go to home depot because so much else about me seems so manly. Except the fact that I can't ever find anything. And I don't actually know anything. And I look like an old lady when I am loading lumber onto my cart. Other than that, I know just how you feel.

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  6. Katy, this made me laugh and laugh and laugh, especially when I think of our former, "careers(not)" and how that doesn't mesh well with Butchness.

    I'm laughing so hard, tears are coming out of my eyes, still.

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  7. this is hilarious- esp the way you tell it. and i relate big time! except the folks around me are used to my geekiness, my way around books and grey matter and so they think i'm never one to fawn over something pretty. so when i started whitewash and co to make collage pendants for jewelry- the collective friends and folks around me gasped, sucking in so much gasp of air they created a wind tunnel for a few moments. they didn't know this side of me- they thought i was in aisle five also verging on the edge of a sprint.

    i love coming here- you sparkle you create you defy boxes and now i've learned a new word via jaime (above): buildy. i love that!

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  8. OMG!!!! hahahahaahahahahaahaha! I needed this laugh..i can picture it!! LOL!!

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  9. Great!!! I know exactly what you are talking about. Could be me there in HD. I would much rather be shopping there than,say, Macy's. And love to build. Soooo, why is it that the male employees in HD always take a quick turn down another aisle when they see me about ready to ask them a question? Scared?

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  10. As a lesbian, and the butch one, I can say I was nodding while reading this, and by the time I was done, I was laughing pretty hard. I can tell you why you were mistaken for the butch one. 1) We know exactly what tool we want. 2) We all tend to hate shopping and walk like it. 3) Apparently we all dress with purpose and comfort in mind. Or so I've been told.
    Thanks for an awesome laugh!

    http://taleweaversramblings.blogspot.ca/

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  11. I can totally relate. I am not a 'girly girl'. I am dressy casual for church and Bible study, but mostly I'm thrift store clothes, no makeup, and I talk about guy stuff. BBC's Top Gear is the best show ever. But I suppose I am somewhat feminine...I have 11 children. :-) I just found...and love...your blog. With my husband working to feed this brood I am the one who usually spruces things up in the house. I plan to visit a lot. I hope you won't think I am coming on to you. ;-)

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Welcome to my three ring circus. Cake? Tequila? Pardon me while I cut this lumber and yell at my kids for the 100th time --

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For many years I was a mechanical engineer by day, a house renovator by night, and a single mom. I previously built a tiny house on Tybee Island that I sold in 2015. Then I lost my day job, met Prince Charming, and now work full time demolishing (fixing) his lake house. ;) Stop by for the house stuff, stay for the never-ending disasters, pianos falling out of the sky, floods, threats of financial ruin, & panic attacks. It's like house flipping meets the zombie apocalypse! with lots of kids!

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