The Back-to-School-Hell Rant

8:59 AM Katy 11 Comments

Back to School is the worst time of year. I say this every year. Absolute hell dropping $500 on school supplies, school fees, lunch accounts, new shoes and pants, snack fees, and taking 5 days off work because now there are mandatory "kindergarten home visits", "pay your fees and find out your teacher's name" & "then come back the next day to meet her" & "then come back for 6 hours of curriculum seminars". OH AND FILL OUT THESE 4 BILLION FORMS FOR EACH KID, AND THEN LET US KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET THE DAILY NEWSLETTER BY EMAIL SO WE CAN STOP KILLING SO MANY TREES. AND YOU BETTER HAVE ALL 100 OF YOUR VACCINATIONS UP TO DATE, EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW YOUR KIDS WILL CATCH SOME GOD AWFUL DISEASE HERE BY NEXT WEEK. And sign this form committing your soul to destruction if your spawn lose or damage a textbook this year. (Satan lives in the library too, in case you were wondering.) If your child is tardy for too many days we will send Child Protective Services (Satan's minions) to confiscate all of your children, so please sign your name here acknowledging this.

This is public school, not a communist-state-controlled-slave-camp---oh wait.  

It's a prison, where children are kept locked up all day forming little gangs, and then they come home with homework that I HAVE TO DO because it's never age-appropriate. Some parents were actually celebrating that our kids got the "tough teachers" with "high expectations" because we will have boatloads of homework every night, which means the kids are Surely Learning Real Good.

God have mercy.

You know what class I have failed every year of my entire life? Following Rules and it's pre-requisite: Remembering All the Rules and Procedures. I tossed the school handbooks (all 3 of them) right in the trash, because I don't have any space left in my house for all of this crap.

 If it weren't for this j-o-b, I would homeschool and move to a goat farm.

Or a beach shack.


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  1. Let's see, I always lose at least 2 forms that are required by the school. They've yet to kick him out. We were late at least 15 times last year. Still didn't kick him out. He was late getting to class when he rode the bus and they still didn't kick him out. You let me know if you find something that works because as long as they expect my kid there, my husband is going to have him go there and with our school, I think it's a really bad idea, lol.

  2. Oh, a goat farm! You should do it! I want to read those posts. :)

    I'm glad I a) am not in school anymore and b) don't have children. My aunt was a kindergarten teacher for many years, and the state administrators kept increasing the curriculum beyond the scope of what a kindergarten teacher should be responsible for teaching kids (elementary math, complete reading, etc). This is a time for public school kids to begin learning these things, not be proficient at them, but that is what the state wanted. Hopefully the parents have started them at home with a lot of it but the schools today are just crazy.

    When I was still in high school, I had a tardiness problem. One day I missed the bus and showed up an hour or two late, after begging a ride from a relative (we lived an hour away from the school). They wrote me up for it! I said that was the last time I would be late - next time I would just stay home for the day.

    I'm with you on following the rules.

  3. I find your "communist-state-controlled-slave-cam" to be apt. They are NOT public schools, except for the fact that the public is required to be there by law (unless they/we pay exhorbitant fees to escape and go elsewhere, all the while still paying the majority of our taxes for the "education" of our kids.) Until we have a voucher system or some other process which brings healthy competition into the picture, the "public schools" will continue to be black holes that suck all the inspiration, adventure, and love of learning out of our kids. Not to mention what they do to us!!!

  4. I feel your pain.

    Ask God to make a way for you to stay home and home school your kids. I realize that this would be a miracle, but Jesus Christ is able.

  5. I'm SO happy that my daughter is now 30 and that I don't have to mess with any of that anymore. In regards to homework, I told her that it's her responsibility and that I wasn't going to be involved. It worked out pretty well; she has her master's degree now. Of course, a decent job to go with it would be even better (thank you crappy economy!)

  6. Ditto here. Same stories. Children need two stay home parents to keep up with school work and school notes and fundraisers.
    I think your rant should also mention the "black hole" were pencils and erasers disappear weekly.

  7. What on earth is a kindergarten home visit? I am also not ready for the homework grind, although I am ready to have the kids take their bickering elsewhere.

  8. I really wish that there was a box to tick that says, "See XYZ kid for the information" because I hated filling out the same thing for both of my daughters (they are twins), so I started just writing, "Same as XYZ" on the form. And it went through. Plus they were tardy plenty of times with nary a note home until report cards came in. That being said, I'm a middle school English teacher, and I love the first day of school for all the promise that it brings. Homework is limited to once or twice a week (only when it's really needed and usually it's something that we started in class like a paragraph or an essay). Personally, I would have strangled my two little lovelies within a matter of days if I home schooled them . . . or they would have me :)

  9. well by homeschool, I really mean "let them do whatever they want all day while I do the same".


  10. KINDERGARDEN HOME VISIT???? isn't 5 a bit late for that home visit? like they can look through a person's house and decide if they're a worthy parent? (okay, that may work for some!) i certainly hope you were given the rubric ahead of time so you could prepare!

  11. Ugh isn't it the freaking worst? Mine are in a private school my mom teaches at and they ask for money early, hard, and constantly. There is just so much to deal with! But the routine... oh the routine almost makes it worthwhile


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