Abandoning Your Plans When You've Come This Far? (or: A Brief Interlude of Doom)

10:41 PM Katy 10 Comments

I have said before that the beach house was risky. I always felt like I was working on borrowed time and I better get it done as fast as possible -- before the gazillon-billion-trillion debt makes all our money worthless.

However. I had a deep conviction that this "impulse" of mine was not an accident. I had prayed about it, and some doors opened that seemed previously impossible, and all indications were that it was okay to leap. So even in the face of all my logic screaming at me (Dump this project and move to a farm instead you stupid woman before you lose your job and have to resort to squirrel hunting to feed all these kids!) - I'm forging ahead. We've passed the point of no return. It's like when you're 9 months pregnant and you finally acknowledge that the train is coming and you're tied to the tracks.

Yes I'm scared. I'm stockpiling canned goods in my linen closet on account of my fear that everything is about to go pear-shaped. (My faith does not move mountains - sometimes it lies on the bathroom floor dry heaving. Just FYI.)
But I can't quit.

Me and the architect are currently having a fantastic time trying to cram appliances into inappropriate places. HVAC has been decided. (It wasn't the answer that I wanted but what the hell - it's not like any of this is affordable, so why flip out over an extra $10k? HA HA JUST KIDDING I FLIP OUT OVER ALL OF IT)  He keeps telling me to relax, not to worry, and I wonder how much of my neurosis is pouring through the computer screen. Rhetorical of course. I don't want to know.

I was shooting for Jan 30th, but all of the necessary funds have yet to appear.

I keep having flashbacks to 18 months ago when my mom said "remember asking God to build houses?" - and I said flippantly "Oh it will never happen".

I bet tonight I will dream about hurricanes.

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  1. <3 love ya! In 18 months you are going to look back on this the same way.

  2. If standing at the edge of a cliff, look if you like, but you must leap. Bet you'll sprout wings!

  3. Y'know, if you could somehow make this a Kickstarter project, I would absolutely donate to it. Ever considered it?

  4. Oh Katy, I read your blog all the time and usually don't comment (out of shear laziness and the fact that I have shitty dial-up-ish internet because we live in the country), but today I must tell you that the "My faith doesn't move mountains it lies on the bathroom floor dry heaving" made me almost pee my pants I was laughing so hard!!

    Kari @ The Sunset Lane

  5. ok I had to google kickstarter -- that's a really cool idea! But I feel kinda weird opening this up for donations since it might not necessarily help the whole world. lol

    I have some posts in the draft folder on why and how cystic fibrosis is involved in this beach house thing, but I haven't fully fleshed it out.

    I guess I could do that - and even if it collected $5, it would be $5 closer to the goal right?

  6. Kari - I am a big fan of "tell us how you REALLY feel" :)

  7. "Don't Look Back, You're Not Going That Way!"

  8. Kari-I love your blog. You are very brave, smart and talented and your determination will get you through. Try to live from day to day (baby steps) taking in the whole thing at one time is just too overwhelming.

  9. you know what- "leap" is vital. oh and so is a good laugh (re mountains and bathroom floors). don't compare yourself to anyone on anyone else's chart because you are the real mccoy. but yes, it is dern scary.

    kickstarter_ i've been on a couple kickstarter programs. do it! but come up with an achievable amount of money that you'll be sure to obtain...a satellite radio station in ny ended up with about 4 times the money they had asked for and so they were able to use those extra funds for dreams beyond their dreams. facebook - i know you don't go there - is really a great networking tool when it comes to kickstarter and getting the word out. just sayin....i'm in when you are in.


  10. You're writing kills me! Keep moving forward I have a real good feeling you are going to be just fine. Not a big religious girl but this comes to mind...God helps those who help themselves. And you are without question one of those. As far as the dollar being worthless...I fear what the next 4 years will bring....completely disappointed.


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