Bad MLS listings: a luxury real estate exercise.

10:35 AM Katy 39 Comments

I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself, as a person with plenty of money (note: not enough to live in California but enough to live like a king anywhere else.) and a strong desire to live on a beautiful lake. Pretend also that you are thinking of starting a kick-ass orphanage so you'll need a very large house, a dock, and multiple areas for TV watching etc. (JUST PRETEND OKAY??)  YOU, my friend, are on the hunt for a large luxury home on beautiful water, in the heat of the deep South. You like palm trees, jet skis, mint juleps, magnolias, and you don't mind large roaches. You are currently stuck in some God forsaken horrible climate like Chicago, and you are chomping at the bit to move here. Got it?
Ok...
You open up Zillow and start looking at listings. When you pull up the interior photos, this is what you see:



WHAT ARE THOSE BALLS ON THE RED RAG?
and I don't mean to focus on just one house -- there are a bunch like this.

Are you feeling the dream slip away just a little bit? Are you disappointed? Were you hoping for something a little more "Sarah Richardson"?  And you walked into Miami Vice instead? Does this look like something you'd happily pay close to a million dollars for? Yes I realize that these are not California prices, but we're talking about the South here. In this price range you expect a lot.

In my efforts to plan this renovation, I have been checking out my theoretical "competition" by cruising Zillow and looking at pictures of million-dollar-lake-homes. Just to get the lay of the land, if you will.  Yes, the economy has been crap for a long time and there simply aren't that many buyers in this price range. So you have to work even harder to sell luxury real estate.  After searching MLS listings for a week, I am feeling both depressed and also hopeful about my chances at burning the comps.

{One night as I was flipping through photos of yet another 900k house on nice water - Prince Charming was sitting beside me and we saw a photo of a den with a wet bar. Someone had tried to force a mini fridge to fit inside an off-the-rack cabinet, but it was too deep so they turned it sideways and cut a hole in the side of the cabinet... and took the knob off the front door. It was awesome and terrible at the same time and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. PC said "that could be us if we had slightly less awareness. It's very MacGuyver". What he meant to say is that he would totally do something like that if I wasn't here to stop him. ;)}

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39 comments:

  1. Just goes to show, money can't buy taste or class I guess. Yikes. Oh, and please post photo of said wet bar, I'm intrigued.

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  2. If I ever want to feel really good about my house, I just look at the competition on Zillow. After that, I'm perfectly content to stay right where I am for a long, long time.

    Those folks most definitely have more money than sense because that's just craptastic.

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  3. I might have to go to Zillow and make myself feel better. Renos are such a downer sometimes....lol. How wonderful you two can laugh together, and yes, PC is definitely lucky to have such a talented and handy wife.

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