Story Time! The Luxury Shower From Hell

5:38 PM Katy 10 Comments


Once Upon a Time, I had this ugly Darth Vader shower the size of a football field:
The duct tape on the left wall is temporary - we found a hidden room behind the shower that I want to make into a laundry room!!

And Lo - it was an albatross. None of the faucets or attachments worked. I had to call a plumber just to get one shower head to spray hot and cold water (like a fire hose, you couldn't stand naked facing it unless you wanted to have your private bits stitched back onto your body.)

And it was a "steam shower", a very expensive 18-year-old piece of construction that required custom everything. 6 body sprays that my seasoned plumber had never even seen before (and he had no idea where to find parts for them).

The steam generator was up in the attic. The pipes burst in the attic one winter years ago, when the house was abandoned, and that was the reason for the first remodel. Prince Charming bought this house after they had replaced all the ceilings (but before they finished everything else, hence the good deal he got on this place. snort.)
This is why you use a freaking fiberglass shower pan instead of pouring a concrete one. !!!

I knew this bathroom had to be remodeled if there was a snowball's chance in hell of ever selling this place for what he paid for it. It was not scheduled for this year, however.

And then this week, as I was preparing to post my first "before and after" pictures on this blog of the master bedroom renovation (FINALLY! 99% finished!!!) - - the shower pan under this monstrosity "let go".

and we had flood #2. From this stupid, ugly, ridiculous, over-built, expensive, wasteful SHOWER.
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Now I am tearing this beast up, and the pan was poured concrete... which means I will need a pick ax... and I already injured myself so badly I probably need stitches (but I'm holding my thumb together with medical tape.)

A note to all the DIY geniuses on the internet who keep touting how wonderfully cheap and easy it is to build your own shower pan this way --- sure. Ok.  Rubber/vinyl "waterproofing" will not save it. Ours was built like a ton of bricks with all the precautionary layers, and it still failed. This is a total nightmare to remove. Everybody do yourself a favor and just buy a fiberglass pan, because sometimes modern technology REALLY IS BETTER THAN THE OLD (CHEAPER) WAY.

Incidentally, here is my master bedroom, after 9 months I still can't finish it because the laser cutting place is so backed up. :(
And the side patio is almost finished, but still no railings...

It's like riiiight when I think I'm close to my goal -- WHAM! another disaster. :)

Come to think of it, I think I've written that same sentence probably 100 times on this blog in the last 7 years. Hmmm....

If the bedroom ever gets done I will post the before and afters - until then, I'm hooked on Instagram.

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10 comments:

  1. Best post ever!!! Hell, fire hose, and private bits all in one post literally had me rolling with laughter. Katy you are the most fun to read despite the The Money Pit and all its issues.

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    1. Goodness, Jaime I know that women aren't flocking to this blog to see beautiful rooms and stylish accessories - Unfortunately I've developed a blog of "Guess which disaster will happen next?"
      Maybe I'm just meant to be a cautionary tale. I like those. So it's ok. ;)

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  2. My husband is an electrician and father in law is a plumber. The stories they come home with both scare me and make me laugh hysterically. Your house sounds like one they would talk about for years to come!

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    1. Stefanie ask your family if they ever saw a 10 ft satellite dish built into an attic. sigh.

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    2. I think that may be a first... however things they pull out of clogged sewer lines...that'll give you nightmares!

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  3. KATY. GIRL. I mean this in the best way possible -- I wish I lived closer so I could just come by with popcorn and watch all this crazy house stuff go down live. YOU SHOULD FILM IT and then add Benny Hill music overtop. I'd pay. Not much, but SOME.

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    1. $.99 ? ;) The idea has merit. I mean, why can't I segue this blog into endorsement deals with Bob Vila?? Because tornadoes follow me around and I never get to enjoy my hard work? lol
      I should find a way to monetize disaster.

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  4. If you’ve ever been subjected to an in-home sales presentation from a hard-selling acrylic shower or tub wall salesmen – you know some of the “facts” surrounding grout free shower and tub wall panels “spun” quite a few ways.

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  5. Wow - A secret room -will you post photos ?- Please. The bedroom closet looks great! I will definitely use a fiber glass pan now for my upcoming shower replacement.

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  6. I know this house has been a nightmare for you, but I have to say, it has made for some VERY entertaining blogging and instagram-ming. I keep leaning over to my husband with my phone saying 'look at THIS, can you believe it?' That really is the ugliest shower ever, can't wait to see how you fix it.

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Welcome to my three ring circus. thanks for stopping by!